Thursday, 19 February 2015

The Wedding Files

"Falling in love was the easy part; planning a wedding - yikes!"

       - Niecy Nash

Omg! We're engaged!! 

This was my initial reaction when my boyfriend of  eight-and-a-half years proposed last autumn... Yes, at long last, praise the Lord! We're getting married!

Fast forward a few months...

'So how are the wedding plans going?'

'Are you enjoying the wedding planning?'

'I LOVED organising my wedding, I'm sure you will too!'


Do not get me wrong, I cannot wait to marry the love of my life - I will happily shout that from any rooftop.

But something wasn't quite right. I think I panicked. Shit! I actually have to organise this wedding. Me, myself and I (of course with trusty fiancé forever by my side). The thoughts continued...

I mean, firstly the wedding would have to be huge! We are both one of six children, have several aunts/uncles/cousins between us and have managed to accumulate some great friends over the years too. We often joked about this day and how big a wedding of ours would be, but then this slowly became a real source of anxiety...

Next up was the expectation of others. Intentionally or otherwise there would be friends and family who were expecting x,y or z from us - again making me want to crawl even further into my own dark hole and disappear from the land of wedding planning... Could we ever live up to their expectations? What if they were to leave our wedding somewhat... underwhelmed??

And don't even get me started on money...

For weeks (possibly months) I allowed myself to concentrate on the above, putting off any planning and organising even more. I didn't really know why, but I was unable to get excited about the wedding day itself and would avoid discussing it with friends and colleagues as much as possible. I would find myself laughing awkwardly and changing the subject instead of giggling childishly and rambling on about every single minute detail of the sate-the-date invites. Until one day things changed...

Yes, that would be the day that I tried on The Wedding Dress!

CLARISA, Wedding Dress 2015
Pronovias 2015 collection  (don't worry this isn't 'The One')

I did not think it possible, that trying on a full length ivory gown could ever have such an effect - but it did. All of the unnecessary pressure and doubts I had put onto my own shoulders were lifted. I felt less insecure about the day. I focused on the positives, rather than the negatives... And as if my some sort of mysterious wizardry I had found my passion for planning our wedding !

All of a sudden I was enthused again. 'Omg - We are actually getting married!!'

And I cannot wait to become Mrs/Dr G! 

Bring it on!

Big loves

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